Before I retired from the work force I worked in an office. The dynamics of an office are hard to explain unless you've ever worked in one. I found, on occasion, that a coworker would get under my skin. They would do things that were questionable, maybe unethical. These things may or may not cause my job to be more difficult;
making too many personal phone calls, taking longer than allowed lunches…..things like that. I’ll admit
(now) that I contributed my share of unethical behavior.
Anyhow, people were always in and out of the boss’s office telling on each other. Relationships were always strained. It was not fun. I began to ask myself why it was always this way. God revealed to me my lack of integrity was part of the problem. You know the story
….the telephone pole in your eye…..the tooth pick in theirs kind of thing.
I made a pledge to myself to have as much integrity as possible for one of a sinful nature as mine. If I used a stamp, I paid for it. If I was five minutes late for lunch, I worked ten minutes over. If I made a copy on the copier, I paid for it. Other than emergencies, personal phone calls were a thing of the past.
Now, when I told on someone for his or her indiscretions I’d be okay, right? Well….not really. I’d still have that bad feeling inside. Plus, the person I told on would be mad at me. It was the same thing
every time. That’s not what I wanted. I just wanted him or her to stop doing what they were doing that caused me more work. “They’re doing wrong,” I reasoned. Inevitably I would always regret saying anything. I wondered again why that was. Why am I feeling so bad when they should be feeling bad? I found a passage in the bible somewhere. I can’t seem to find it again. But…..anyhow….it said something about criticizing always coming back on to the criticizer.
“Hmmmmmm? Okay God,” I prayed. “Reveal to me what that means.”
He revealed to me that (even though I was telling the truth) by going over their head, I was really going behind their back, not giving them an opportunity to defend themselves. This was a sin.
Sin always has a consequence. The bad feelings and poor relationships were the consequences for my sin. He wanted me to go the person I had the grievance with first. It used to be I
couldn’t do that because my own closet
wasn’t clean, so to speak. But, now that I practiced integrity I had freedom to go to that person and say, “Hay, we’
ve got a problem here.”
Simple, right? No, it was difficult. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I’d have to pray for days to get up the courage. But, the funny thing was, when I did, I got this awesome blessing from it. It happened every time I “got real” with someone. We’d have it out, and then we’d become friends. When I retired I dearly loved each and every one I worked with.
So I put this into practice in every aspect of my life.
It took a long time to undo past sins. Over time I have received many blessings by changing my bad behavior. I feel better about myself. Family ties are stronger because of it. Friendships are stronger. It has been a total blessing all around.
Around my middle and high school years, my friend Barb and her mom would take me to their Mother/Daughter banquets at their church. They planted seeds of God in me. I imagine it must have been a real challenge just spending time with me, because I was really self-absorbed. In her early twenties Barb got married. We continued our friendship. I have fond memories of late night card games and sidesplitting laughter at her and her husband Jeff’s kitchen table. Many years have since passed. Details of the banquets have faded. But the seeds remained.
